In a nut shell

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Okay that was because i ran out of things to say, so lets talk about italy. Italy as a whole... well I love it here, i love the art, i love that it has put me in the position to really see whats going on around me. Its made me look at things in a whole different prospective and isnt that what i wanted all along. When i first went into that interview room when those i dont know ten people asked me and stared at me as i answered, "what do you want to get out of this experience?" wasnt my answer "I want to learn how to speak a different language but on top of that help my prospective on life grow." Wasnt that what i truly wanted? I dont know what i was truly expecting, and really i dont know what i wanted out of this... but this right now I see so many things differently than i would back home. Right now looking at pictures from when i left with my ex boyfriend, with my bestfriends, with my family i can see right through myself and see exactly what i was thinking. I can see how i was feeling, I can see that i felt like nothing in life right then could go wrong for in that moment that i was taking that photo everything was okay because life stood still for that push of a button making that moment last forever. I could see that i didnt know what being away from people i loved and cared about felt like, i could see that i didnt know really what life was truly about, i could see that i didnt take advantage of the little things in life. I could see right through myself. I can see and i can tell that i am not the same person i was. Not because of a new culture alone, but because being away gave time for my mind to grow around things that cant be changed but only be accepted. I came here not knowing anything about this new italian culture or even knowing anything about the language. I walked into a new place not knowing what i had really gotten myself into, not knowing what homesickness felt like but just giving everything and all a try. I have cried more tears than i ever have before being here, and all you know that Liz doesn't cry. I have made bonds with people i would have never met in my lifetime if i hadnt have decided to go study abroad. I have made memories with people i would have never met if it werent for this. I have laughed with people i would have never thought even existed. And one thing i will never forget is the moment i realized how worth it this all was, because I myself have made more of an effect on people than i actually have come to realized. Whether that be one or more.. but even then one person is enough on its own. At first I looked at this whole experience as if it were a puzzle in a box. I thought it was never going to be done. I looked at it as a whole instead of taking small pieces and trying to make them fit. The disappoints being when i try the same piece to different pieces and them just not working.. but then i start to get closer to the end and forget to look back at the box when i need to... yet needing to actually look at the whole thing as well, a whole. I forgot to look back and now im here. I am here questioning myself as to if it were worth it. I took a breath as i found the answer to my question. Its worth it, and that statement alone is an understatement. This passed year of my life and this new year starting here, is the one thing i have found meaning to and i can really say is worth it. I love where i am at in life and without thinking twice i can say its all worth it.
This is where i stop. I have class in the morning and well, i have run out of words. If this doesnt make sense to you then i am sorry lol. Im done ranting. Have a good start of the week everyone.


Ciao, Liz.