At first i'm thinking.... this going to be such a long year of my life, i'm leaving my family and friends and everything and replacing it with something I have to rebuild it all over again.
First, the thing I wanted to do was go "home". I didn't care as much as I do now. I wasn't completely attached as I am now. Now, things have changed. I spent the first part, and when I say first part I mean the first SIX months of my time here, in sort of what felt as an obligated, and awkward situation. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful for the lessons I have learned and the people I had met during that time but when someone doesn't actually want you and has a minimum self control level, makes things sort of difficult to see that it is always greener on the other side. In a sense I am completely happy that everything happened the way it did. I spent the first 6 months in a sort of different state of mind, mixed with "broken" heart bullshit, homesickness, real actual sickness, anxiety, confusion of whats become of what I left home, and the aching desire to want to have an amazing time here in Italy.
I moved in with my counselor, and it was like my exchange flipped upside down. I felt loved and wanted and yes I realize how cheesy and how cliche that sounds but i'm so serious. Completely different from the first situation and even from the situation back home. No dont get me wrong in any sense when I say that. I love my family and what I have back home, but here right now in my life, I can honestly say I have set all bullshit aside (because we all know every family has there conflicts and problems) and have never been happier in my life but not because of just one thing, but because of everything as a whole.
Two lessons I have learned since I have been here is, "not every one is the same." and what "DESTINY" actually means. I have always been the one to say "Everything happens for a reason", and to always let things fall as they may, being here has made me see how right and wrong that truly all is.
I dont want to leave what I have here. I made a bond, a family, out of laughing, learning, and realizing and just being happy. Life happens so fast there is only one way to live it... AND THATS BEING HAPPY.
Someone told me here, that I always am smiling and happy and that makes them happy. Right then and there I felt like I achieved more than just "learning Italian or the way the culture is" I have made friends here I dont want to lose and when I go home only promises will be hold us together until the next time we meet again. These people here will never truly know the impact they have made on my life until the day I can truly pay them back, but even then how do you pay such a priceless thing back.
I have realized that I am not a person who will ever be staying in one place. If it wasn't Italy then it probably would be somewhere else. I will be back here, I know it. Somethings calling my name and its happiness and travel AND it's time to do what no one was brave enough to do and that's just DO MORE.
Another day ends, and another day stats. Make it worth it. Shit happens, Life happens. Forget the rest and just be happy.
Until next time & forever yours,
Elizabeth
But in case you were wondering, this is a sort of conclusion to whats been going on.
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