Day Two.

So, yesterday I feel was the hardest day of my life. Not because i couldnt understand anything but more because homesickness kicked my ass yesterday like i never thought would. I miss my mom, i miss my boyfriend, i miss my family, my friends, my surroundings my bed my home. I miss everything. I wanted to just pack up and go home last night, but thankfully i have more support than i thought i would. I laid in bed last night upset and just scared but not because something was wrong but because i shut my mind and held my breath once i went through security in the airport in dallas. Stupid of me and wrong of me and completely not me. I wanted to run back and grab my mom and say no i cant leave. but i didnt. something pushed me forward. even though i was practically freaking out last night something made me keep going. i prayed and prayed loud and hard and then something snapped in my head more of like a slap in the face more or less to my face saying shut up liz and DO THIS LIKE YOU KNOW YOU CAN. I then fell asleep. I woke up this morning, no tears and no sadness. of course emptiness though because my mom family and edgar are not here with me but i talk to them enough where that hole is filled. It's like i forced my mind opened with hammer and chisle, and everything is better. my host mom is such an amazing women, and so sweet and considerate. i couldnt be more blessed right now and i realize more things now within one day then i have my whole life. Family and people who become family are sacred and hold on tight to them. they say you dont know what you have until its gone, but in reality i knew what i had and i knew so well that i know me leaving for months they would and will still be there. i love you mommy, edgar, and family. <and the people who are practically family.
thank you. have a good day everyone, off to see the city.<3