Have you ever tried meditating? thats not something you ask people often because when you think of meditation you think of buddihst or whatever right? and people here dont do that, nor do people back home. I looked into meditation a long time ago because myself, i have a hard time slowing and clearing my mind. I have a hard time just thinking about one thing and not over analyzing it. I honestly think that is my biggest problem sometimes. Most people are not like me at all. And you might think of me like that because I am in a whole nother world for the most part. But honestly i have come to the realization that its not at all like that. Yes, maybe because of the fact i have to learn a new language and do things different and live a different way but it is really all the same when you have to leave home as a freshman in college or in general have to leave home maybe easier with the language part and you dont have to walk everywhere but really how different is it? Its sunday here in Italy already and i dont know what i am doing today but i think meditation might come in handy and this is why. Meditation, in order to clear ones mind and think of nothing else is also to find balance and peace with ones self, and thats a hard thing to do but could also help once achieved. that all sounds so weird im sure but really its not. back to more interesting things i am sure people want to here about....
WENT TO VENEZIA YESTERDAY!
thats the city, where streets are made of water.... yeah it was JUST like the movies.
I have never walked so much in my life, and people here walk everywhere.. yeah not in the states. I slept maybe a couple of hours in a row FINALLY because i actually had not been able to sleep at all i would wake up hour on the hour because i would have nightmares about leaving the people i love and have nightmares to where they wouldnt be there when i got home, and wake up with a heart beat of 129329837298372 and sound like im panting like a dog and wake up sweating like i ran the same amout of miles my heart was beating for. I hated it, but you know last night i had a dream and woke up but forced myself to think about other things, made myself go back to sleep and even though i had to do that a few times.. i still did it. This is all really hard to handle but its not about whether or not you can or cant handle it because its nothing like that, its about teaching yourself to handle it.. in the beginning i honestly couldnt handle it i freaking was spazzing out... but now i am handling it.. its the same situation so what happened? I taught myself how.
My host mom lives by a motto, Take advantage of every chance given to you.. whatever that might be.
I took my chance with my boyfriend, and we were perfect.
He encouraged me to go, and now i am here.
I took the chance of coming to Italy.
He took the chance of being able to wait and love me just the same if not more if I left.
I am now here, and it all feels like a long vacation because he is so supportive.
Thank God, for every blessing... even for the hard times because you teach yourself things you might never realized were there for you to learn.
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