I hate people who have to constantly make sure they are higher than all others in everything and constantly have to tell people what they are gonna do that is so much greater than what everyone else is doing and i hate when they constantly have to boost themselves up. It's annoying and really when you do that... no one cares. They might act like they care but really... THEY DONT. lol. but thats besides the point.
Today school was boring. I sat there slept, read my book and italian dictionary, slept, talked to people in a lower level english class and then went home. i am learning italian quick now and i love it! just because people love to randomly teach me words and i love it :)

My eyes are heavy and low today because its like 11pm at night here. I had this random urge to write though, and not about what i did today or anything like because to me it sounds so cliche to tell you all that i went and bought italian make up and ate gelato and bought a gorgeous scarf that i love oh so much but instead everything else, the things that really matter. Thoughts and feelings.. you know the other stuff we all hate to talk about. I read something in italian today, "l'arte d'arrangiarsi" which could sum up all the thoughts and realizations i have had over the passed couple of weeks. It means the art of making something out of nothing. i will leave you to think about that.
i will let you in on this conversation that i randomly had with someone just now and i will let you see what i mean by a mind overload at an odd time -_-

Me:
you have no idea how hard it was like really people dont understand and people wont believe what kinda stuff it truly does to you. yeah it might look like fun and might be amazing because come on now its italy... but in all reality its the hardest thing you will ever have to endure, homesickness? and culture shock? its not the homesickness like you think either like going on a small trip and miss your friends. no. its you crying constantly over dumb stuff all the time when crying isnt even in your vocabulary. Not always eating not sleeping crying getting sick crying more pains sometimes forgetting to breathe, and crying more. being bi polar when you hardly even know what that means. People just say you have to have faith and love and you will get through it but those are all gifts and sometimes its not enough to always pull you out of that rut you throw your self into, its not enough until you teach yourself that in reality IT IS enough, notice i said teach because something like that doesnt come naturally i care who you are.
Her: your so strong for that i could never make a decision like that.
ME: its not about being strong, its about if you are willing. are you willing to adapt? are you willing to change? are you willing to leave your comfort zone? are you will to do something your not used to or havent ever even heard of? are you willing to learn how to deal with everything you are put through, not are you strong enough, but are you willing?

THE REST IS ON TWITTER, ITS TOO LONG TO COPY lol.

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LifeAsTHELiz@yahoo.com
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ciao.