Same song is on repeat. The page has been been blank for about 3 hours. Many thoughts on my mind but no feelings towards them. I am in the weirdest mood I have ever been in, in a long time. Sleep isn't an option, but writing is. I have ran out of words. Or their are too many words to make actual sentences. Delete seems like the constant in this blog post.

A thought: Who's worth it?
Constant question: Why did you decide to come to Italy?
Answer: I am not sure anymore.


Inspiration comes from where? Why do you want to do the things you want to do? What drives you to keep going? Today I sat in English... btw HI! haha. It has been a long time since I have chosen to actually sit down and write, but even now I am in a hurry to go run. Continuing on, I sat in English class today, while they were taking a test.. so that being said I was giving a different test. That being, I had to read an article in TIME magazine and the one presented to me was one about Steve Jobs. All a name we have heard this passed month because in fact he passed away, god bless. Everyone jumped the band wagon and said RIP and made a huge deal about it.. but in fact they all should. The things this person has done and come up with on his own, not to where he invented things up on his own, but realized the capability they had before anyone else did. Which to me is an inspiration, atleast just to me. Now your probably thinking okay? so what? But this got me thinking about really just all the above.. where does inspiration come from and who is worth it.. which weirdly sounds like two different things and two different points but in reality... they aren't. Being here in Italy, with these weeks and just days alone seem to be flying by and today actually i have been here 2 months... woooo! more like wow.. where have they gone? Just to think that what seems like yesterday I was homesick like I never knew was possible, but today I am almost too content with living here. I am away from all I once knew and now learning about things i never thought i would know about. People back home are where? Exactly where i left them. The only difference is the effort of communication... Now with that, who's worth it? Is who is worth it, who you thought would be? Are your dreams reality or are they nothing like you thought they would be? In a sense i am really asking myself these questions, looking at friends... and yes even family. When things got tuff who stuck around? When I got sad, who was there? When I thought things were just upside down completely who stuck around to ask and notice? Are those the things that matter? I have to ask myself this repeatedly because these days.. it seems as if who i thought would be those people.. aren't. But then again, they are. Are memories that once were, the only thing I have to cherish now that I am where I am, and if so is that okay? These constant questions. But it seems like I am okay, with I mean the occasional homesickness coming here and there, just poking at me.. Okay but back to what i was getting at, inspiration and whos worth it? Those people that inspire you truly (obviously not talking about Steve Jobs because I OBVIOUSLY didnt know him) are worth it. In a sense some of my friends back home. Some of my family, and some of everyone that I have met being here.
Everything seems to be getting better, even when things are tuff. The air is getting colder, but then again so are the people. The roads are weirdly smoother, and people seem to smile more. I am so mentally and physically tired more days than others, but that is the beauty of it.. I don't ever really notice. I might be still in aw because I am where I am at physically... But I think its more because of where I am mentally. Im happy and content, even with whatever else there is to throw that away.



I woke up this morning, just to find my lungs empty, but ready to breathe in what truly matters in life.